Endarius

Locked away inside my mind, She slips through the cracks and yet she is there Negligence forgiven, Differences placed aside we drink tea behind my eyelids Shared laughs, shared pain, conclusions reached, lines drawn, finger paintings on my chest, in my chest, a sleeve perhaps, once in awhile She kisses my forehead as she leaves Back to the cracks When my heart outgrows my chest she will return Her hotel room will sit empty and for a moment she will be home Behind my eyelids My Muse

I wonder what it's like to eat bugs all night and make love all day. Fly without a care in the world. Sing my discordant love song, it bounces back to tell me you're close. Even hanging upside down nothing makes the blood rush to my head like you do. Lovebat.

Ice cubes, like cold lumps of hollow, flow through veins of quicksilver into my ancient heart. Melting diamond soothes the bruises, prevents the swelling, eases the anguish, numbs the pain. The cold makes muscles tense as I flinch, at first, then, stillness, bowstrings lose their tension. A hot breath escapes my lips, an almost silent lament for arrows never let fly, I suck in the cool air. I withdraw, into ice, into thought, into the void left by memories burnt on a pyre of regret. Once again, part of me dies from the cold…so the rest can trudge on through the snow. It used to be rain, but there is no warmth left in my heart, the fire

I've burned them all Memories, thoughts, broken love, all fuel for a funeral pyre Baptizing my own mind with fire I stand empty Nothing but ashes, more ashes...dust to dust Even fallen angels cannot be a part of this world This world of hate and hurt and passion and love and scars They watch and wish for a part to play I envy them, they have something to want, they don't understand I cannot truly leave, and yet I'm never truly part of it I stand alone I stand empty And I like it I stand alone I stand empty I stand

Raindrops fall from darkened skies inside my head Pounding into broken pavement half chewed by beasts of burden and destruction, all the same A swordtip wet with the earth's bloody tears dragged along the tiny stones and tar, it scrapes a song into my mind of regret and hope and fear I am the child of all the battles of the heart, forged in the wars of lives both past and present I bring pain and clarity...great hopes borne on wings of great despair My grip on reality is tightest when I have no grip at all...and everything slides into the night Then I am at peace.

Your eyes are pools of stardust floating on liquid dreams When they ripple with laughter I hear the world singing beneath my feet, and would gladly drown in the moonlit depths of those pools, so that my still heart could settle at the base of your sparkling mind... ... and be remembered Where you walk, wildflowers burst into bloom, I see them in my mind When your voice rings in my ears, speaking my name, it sounds like panpipes, played by the wind, In tribute to some long lost Goddess of love... ... found again, in you

I won't let you see my tears, Steering wheel made of barbwire bleeds my heart dry as it takes me home to loneliness. I won't let you see my tears, trying to find a sad song on the radio, they're all about love, but none of it like mine. I won't let you see my tears, remembered joy is remembered guilt, ecstacy a stolen gift, given freely from shaking hands that don't want to let go...but can't stay closed. I won't let you see my tears, Tears of broken pride and broken joy, shattered hopes and smoky dreams, curling up from bittersweet incense never to be seen again. I won't let you see these tears, my tears... ...But I know you hear th